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May 30, 2006
kelso and the canary
"We need to start smoking out the Canary," I tell College Boy, "Seriously, she
is starting to freak me out."
"Maybe we could bake her some brownies. That would probably do it."
College Boy replies.
We nod in agreement. The idea of secretly drugging someone is wrong on so
many levels. My head full of visions of horny guys with Spanish Fly. But these
are exceptional circumstances.
The Canary is around 50, has 2 children, and has worked at the Deli for 2 years.
She's an assistant manager and while Kosher is on Sabbatical, she is in charge.
High strung does not begin to describe her. She works faster than anyone in our
dept. Flying in from the back of the store, she frantically yells at customers,
"Can I help you? Can I help you?" She swoops down on the last person in line not
being served. Most days, she moves in 50 directions at once - gets distracted,
moves on to something else. In her wake, a trail of unfilled Chicken Salad bowls
lie on the prep table.
On a slow day, I take my time doing easy tasks. If she catches me, I'm in for it.
"David, you need to get more Salami from the back; take out the trash; wash
these dirty spoons; sweep; and wipe this glass down - it's got fingerprints all
over it." She flies off to another employee. I shake my head, and try to digest
how my day just got complicated. All of a sudden, I'm the slow kid in first grade.
She once told me if I got caught putting cheese on the wrong side of a sandwich,
I would get fired.
"Don't forget to wear gloves, or you'll get fired."
"The dishwater needs to be at least 85 degrees, or you'll get fired."
"If you don't double-bag the trash can, you'll get fired."
She's not threatening me. She doesn't have the authority to fire me. She fears
the wrath of the big, bad, OCD corporate monster who will someday swoop in
and give her her notice. "I'm sorry," she will plea, "I will never put extra mayo in
the Chicken Salad again."
The Canary is a prophet of doom, warning us all against our impending job
terminations. I, being a masochist, always get a little glimmer of hope in my eye
from her admonitions.
Posted by davidm at 11:15 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
the refresh button
I began working at the deli counter of a popular, over-priced grocery store 2 months ago. Unemployed for the last year, this has been quite a shock to my
system. I'm not accustomed to doing things I don't want to do. I'm not whining
about my current situation, but taking on a menial job after doing what you damn
well please is quite draining.
For the past few weeks, I've spent my breaks writing about the job, the people I
work with, and my observations about the world of retail. Originally, I was going to
use the material to write a short story called "Zen and The Art of Chicken Salad."
I soon remembered that a work of fiction takes more effort than I'm willing to put
into it.
So, from time to time, I will post stuff here. Names have been changed to protect
the innocent or to more accurately describe the people involved. These are not
necessarily in any sort of sequential order.
I will update whenever I feel like it.
Posted by davidm at 10:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 15, 2006
jack rabbit valley road
I'm currently working on a short story tentatively titled "Zen and The Art of Chicken
Salad." It deals with low wage jobs and increasing housing costs in Chattanooga.
J-Roddy Walston and The Business play Midtown Music Hall this Thursday.
I am kicking around some ideas for the future of this blog. It will no longer be
a daily update (no kidding). I might do a miniature online magazine (monthly) with
reviews, news, and concert info. I might drop it all together. Those are the breaks.
Things I will not be doing for the next few months: book, promote, or organize shows; write for The Pulse.
Everyone should check out the new Phoenix record, It's Never Been Like That.
Last month marked the 1-year anniversary of me moving to Slothville.
Movers beware.
Posted by davidm at 07:50 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
May 11, 2006
prose and cons of davidm.
Show preview for Essex Green.
(the show is this Sunday, 5/14)
In other prose and cons news, I received my first piece of fanmail thru Myspace.
This came from David in The Holding Pattern:
Good to see you on here, David. I've been trying to keep up with your work in the Pulse. You have a knack for putting into words what you hear and it's appreciated.
Awww....shucks. You're making me blush.
Posted by davidm at 11:59 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 04, 2006
omg. it's totally jaymay.
An anonymous source told me tonight that Jaymay is gearing up to record
another EP.
Today she was listed under "Indie Spotlight" on the iTunes Music Store, and has
been getting some airplay in NYC and LA.
Top that off with her recent shows in Japan and upcoming UK shows, and we have
a regular diva on our hands.
Preview 2 tracks from Sea Green, See Blue. here.
Read Jaymay interview with Chattanooga Pulse.
Posted by davidm at 11:50 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
May 02, 2006
the features get dropped
The Features got dropped by Universal yesterday.
This was posted on their blogsite yesterday morning:
Earlier this week our record label offered us a chance to record a cover song for a large corporation to be used in a commercial. In addition to using the song in the commercial they wanted us to put it on our record and potentially use it as a single. We turned down the offer(knowing the probable consequences), and our record label dropped us.
Posted by davidm at 05:40 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
cold war kids taking over blogosphere
For the past few weeks, Cold War Kids have been popping up everywhere. CDs
arrived over the weekend at the 0249 house.
Believe me, they deserve all the hype...(unlike some people).
Cold War Kids with Tapes n Tapes:
June 9 - Atlanta, GA @ The Drunken Unicorn
June 10 - Nashville, TN @ The Basement
Posted by davidm at 10:52 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
underoath cancelled
Underoath cancelled their 5/31 show at Fathom.
Posted by davidm at 10:41 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
jroddy back from the dead
So we went through a pretty long absence of J-Roddy Walston and The Business
in the past year. Only 2 shows since last June. The last show = amazing.
Well, guess what kiddos? They're coming back wicked soon.
5/18 - Chattanooga, TN @ Midtown Music Hall. TBA
Shine your shoes and get ready to crunk hard in the Dirty (yet newly renovated) South.
Posted by davidm at 10:31 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
snow patrol
0249 posted some tracks from new Snow Patrol. Click.
Eyes Open drops 5/9.
Posted by davidm at 10:22 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack